Flower girl "steals the show"?

My (almost 3 year old) daughter was the flower girl in my brother`s wedding last week and everyone thought she was adorable..we tried to teach her to drop the pedals, but she ended up picking them up instead! Other than that (and it was really more cute than anything), I thought she did an excellent job. She didn`t scream or cry for one thing. Some of my relatives complained that she was "stealing the show" and distracting everyone from the wedding vows as she kept accidentaly dropping the pedals and picking them up again. I left her alone, as she was being quiet and at least had something to do to keep her busy! My aunt told me I should have gone up there and snatched her out of the spotlight. My brother and SIL really didn`t even notice. Wouldn`t it have even been more distracting for me to snatch her away (probalby would have really made her kick and scream!)?

Flower girl "steals the show"?
I think the flower girl was being cute and well behaved. People who have children in the wedding are prepared for the ups and downs. They know the child might be a brat (yours wasn't, from your description) but don't mind and sometimes look forward to the cute antics (like yours).





If guests were more interested in watching the little girl than listening to the vows, then that's their problem. What if they'd been distracted by the great aunt who sobbed loudly, or the cousin who was wearing an obnoxious and low-cut dress?





Had you rushed up and grabbed her, and made her kick and scream, all of the naysayers would have thought "Oh, why did she do that? The girl was being quiet, why did she have to go and ruin that?" Sometimes, you just can't please everyone.





I'm willing to bet that when the newlyweds watch their wedding video, they're thinking "Oh, how cute!" So don't worry about this.
Reply:How did the bride and groom feel?





If they thought it was cute and laughed, ignore the complaints.
Reply:You didn't do anything wrong and neither did your 3yr old daughter..Your daughter did what a 3yr old is supposed to do.As far as your Aunt goes if your Brother %26amp; SIL didn't have a problem then who cares what your Aunt think's it was NOT her wedding..Tell your Brother %26amp; SIL Congratulations!!!And your daughter too on a job well done..
Reply:You did the right thing. I am sure she was adorable. I did the same thing when I was 3. Every petal I dropped I went back and picked it up. My relatives still laugh about it and so does the bride.
Reply:i think you totally did the right thing by just letting her be.





i got married last year and we had my niece %26amp; nephew as flower girl %26amp; ring bearer - they were 2 %26amp; 4 at the time. yeah, my niece stole the show too... she sat down, dumped her basket upside down, left to go to our dressing room and get her pillow, climbed around my bridesmaids, talked to her brother, laid down and stared at the ceiling, and wound up with my matron of honor sister holding her by the end of it - at my niece's request. but, when you choose to have young kids in your wedding, you do so knowing that kids are kids. we just laughed at how cute they were and went on with life.





i am sorry that your relatives are giving you grief (and i'm glad they weren't at my wedding! ;) don't worry about what they think. she was quiet, and just being a 3 year old. i'm sure it will make for cute pictures if the photographer was good and it's a great story to tell when she starts dating ;)
Reply:sorry but your relatives were being rude. To me, kids make a wedding fun and I'm sure your brother and SIL will get a kick out of looking back on your daughter and the comic relief she brought to their happy day ;)





don't sweat people who have nothing better to do at a wedding than criticize others.. I went to a wedding and my fiance's great aunt told me I was rude for eating chicken breast with a fork.. I'm thinking "can't you find something better to talk about at this beautiful reception other than how I'm eating??!!"





=D
Reply:Why do you think WC Fields said he wouldn't act with children or animals? They ALWAYS upstage the main characters!





I agree with you, if she wasn't bothering anyone and was amusing herself, why not let her be a part of this wonderful occasion?! It would have been more distracting to interrupt the ceremony with you barging up the aisle to get your daughter.


And as a minister, I wouldn't have appreciated THAT.
Reply:Ignore them they are being childish and petty. Next time someone says something to you just say well ______ and ______ were not bother so lets just let it go. Or well that's over and done with. If they won't stop tell them not to bring it up again your tired of hearing about it and walk away. You did right.......
Reply:Tell your aunt it's obviously been a long time since she had a three year old... I think you did the right thing. She would have really ruined the vows if you would have disturbed her. Maybe your aunt wanted to be the flower girl and she is jealous!! Just kidding!! ;)
Reply:Basically, your aunt and some other people blamed you for not doing what they could have done themselves...


They obviously didn't feel it was appropriate to correct the girl, but they did feel it was appropriate for you to do so.





In addition to that, lots of people didn't even notice.


So perhaps the offended people could just take an example from some other people who did manage to stay focussed and did not lose attention over small matters.





And finally, they give you these constructive criticisms AFTER the wedding.


Why? So you can do a better job next week, when your brother marries again?


Or because they think the wedding should be done again because this one wasn't good?


Seems like some people fail to see the point of a wedding: You do it once. Complaining afterwards is not going to make things better the next time, because there isn't going to be a next time.


It just satisfies their personal need to complain.


Their complaints are totally futile.








Either ignore the complaints, or ask them when the wedding should be held again. Can they make it next Saturday?


No, no of course they weren't suggesting the wedding should be done again. So, why were they complaining then?
Reply:As long as your brother and SIL don't care I fail to see why it's any of your aunt's business.
Reply:Honestly, no matter what you do there is no pleasing some people, I think you did the right thing, she was just being a child, but at least she was being a quiet child, and it would have caused more fuss if you had got up and carried her away. Totally ignore your aunt, far better that she was quiet and occupied than screaming her head off. Can I borrow her for my wedding?
Reply:Sorry but Your relatives are morons.... that's the best part of having children in the wedding.. they do such cute stuff. Your aunt sounds like an old fuddy duddy. I was at a baby shower with my friend and her son... her son kept spinning in circles and hitting on the other little girls- offering them hugs and kisses. Well, he's two and 4 old ladies started complaining about him being distracting from the "mommy to be" opening her gifts- give me a freaking brake. Like you really need to concentrate to see another diaper genie. My friend tried to make him sit which then only resulted in crying. Kids have to be kids and if people can't accept that then maybe they 1 shouldn't have them there and 2. don't have any.
Reply:If your daughter wasn't bothering anyone, your going up there would have and then you would have ruined the wedding. Your aunt is too picky and must realize she was just a child ~ what's her excuse? Too many adults expect kids to act and think like adults and then too many adults think and act like kids and your aunt is one of them. And, what's done is done anyway so why does she think it's her place to complain about anything? You did the right thing :)
Reply:Yes it would have been more distracting for you to grab her. She wasn't hurting anything. Most people get a kick out of watching a young flower girl or ring bearer anyway. They liven things up a bit! My 2 yr old son is going to be the ring bearer in my wedding next month and as long as he is being good he will be left alone (of course, Grandma will be sitting in the front row ready to grab him if needs be! lol!). I wouldn't sweat it. Especially if the bride and groom weren't bothered by it!
Reply:Kids are going to be kids, and if she was being quiet and not fidgeting too much (other than picking up her petals) she did a great job. You going up to the front an pulling her way would of made more of a scene. If the bride and groom didn't notice or care then don't let your other relatives bother you about it. She's 3 and it's her job to be cute and adorable!
Reply:It is not like your daughter was standing right next to the bride and groom. Your aunt should have been watching the bride and groom and not looking all over the church. I am sure she did not steal the show and I am sure she was cute. If the bride and groom were worried about her in the wedding they would have not put her in there. Her playing with the petals is 100% better then her screaming and dancing all over.
Reply:I agree with everyone else, it's all part of having children in the ceremony. I've been to weddings were parents have pulled fidgety but basically well behaved children back into the pew with them and it DID cause more of a scene and was considerably more distracting than the child moving around a little bit. At one, the minister had to acutally stop the ceremony, the child started to scream so loudly! If your daughter had started crying or had wanted to come sit with, it would have been a different story. But in the situation you described, you did the right thing. Besides, cute kids in fancy cloths "steal the show," it's a wedding fact! If the B%26amp;G didn't care, why should anyone else. Hopefully, your aunt and others can just let it go!
Reply:I would talk with the bride and groom and explain that some people feel this way. That you are sorry if you did not do what they felt was appropriate, but having a child kicking and screaming would have been worse in your opinion. I am sure if they did not notice, then they are going to say how foolish the aunt is. If the aunt continues, ask her to be the bridal consultant at the next wedding and remove small children as she sees fit. I am sure she will not appriciate this comment. I would also let her know what the bride and groom have said. I would also ask her if she would have been more annoyed at the screaming and yelling that would have taken place had she removed her. Everyone knows kids do things in weddings that is why they pick them for these parts to take some of the tension out of the day. You aunt needs to have her emily post book removed from her behind.
Reply:They need to give her a break. she's 3 years old what do they expect. i think she did awsome.
Reply:walk up and snatch her? what is wrong with your relatives, that is suppose to be a happy moment. so what if the attention is diverted from the bride and groom? Weddings are boring anyway, they dont get exciting until the reception. tell you family to get the sticks out their butts and have fun at life
Reply:I think your family is silly. She's two for goodness sake! Snatching her away would have definatly made a scene. You did the right thing. Besides...if they were really there to see the bride and groom then they should have been able to ignore the flower girl playing with the petals. If the bride and groom did care/notice then it must have not been THAT distracting. 8 0 )
Reply:Your relatives are morons. She probably looked adorable and she did not steal the show. You had a 3 year old quiet for a whole ceremony. The bride and groom knew what they were in for when they selected such a young flowergirl. My niece turned 2 the week before my wedding. She threw a temper tantrum at the rehersal and we didn't think she was going to be able to do it. The next day she walked in with mom (my sil - a bridesmaid) with her pail of flowers in one hand and her dora doll under her other arm like a football. Grandma held her throughout the ceremony. I was just glad that she was able to be part of the day.
Reply:You did the right thing If you whould have went up there and got her it would have then a very loud and you would have been the one (in the spot light) or what ever your aunt said.She was quiet and i bet it was cute so there you go. Had she been talking or dancing or anthing like that they somewould had said something too. A three year old can not stand still that long but it sounds like your daughter did a good job at it. If your brother or his bride were worried about it then thay should have had her sit with you. at a lot of weddings the little kids sit down.Did your bortother or sister in law say anything to you? THen let the one who have nothing better to do the be Bit@#y about it and do not let it get to you.
Reply:You obviously didn't practice enough with her, or prepare her properly.


However, couples should know that a child under three is WAY too young to have as a flower girl!